Most of you who read my blogs are from my hometown but I do have few “fans” out there that are not from Woodbury. I’ve had people from actually all over who have contacted me and my parent about my cancer journey. I’ve had people from Canada all the way to Washington state, but also from Woodbury. I get many questions from what treatments have I done, what I eat, coping skills, how do I stay positive, financial questions, how do I deal with my lows— you can name it, I’ve been asked it. I’ve learned that being an open book and honest with the questions is much easier then beating around the bush. I love the questions, personally. It gives me perspective of that they are thinking about me, cancer, treatment, etc. Also its gives me ideas for what I want to write about in my next blog. 

One question that my Mom got asked from another caregiver was, “Does Taylor have lows, and what do you do when he has them?” Mom was honest with her, which I’m totally fine with. My cancer journey is a totally open book, and Mom and I have discussed what I want to be private or not. Moms response was, “Yes, all the time. Sometimes it’s triggered by friends talking about trips, old memories , doing things he thinks can he do but actually struggling to do them. Doctor’s appointments can trigger him and not being truly heard by his doctors. Certain things can trigger for no reason.”  

She explained the first time it happened, I was on a ton of medication that affected my mood, and she had to take the silverware, scissors, and guns out of the house because she was afraid I was going to hurt myself or someone else. She had to hide my medicine and give it to me when it was due because she was scared I would try to overdose. These are things that you have to deal with along with the side effects of chemo, surgery, and radiation that people don’t realize. This is why I try to be so open and honest with all of my blogs to show what it is really like to ride this rollercoaster. When we have these lows, because no matter if you have cancer or not we all have these lows, we have to do something to come out of them. 

Some people need a little more help from doctors, therapist, friends, etc. to climb out of the trenches and that’s ok. I needed that help. I took medication for quite some time to help cope with all the crazy stuff and also to sleep because I would stay up for days. I’m talking two to three days a time, just with emotional binge eating mania. I would cry for no reason and eat everything I could get my hands on. The only person who could talk me down was my Mom and my cousin Katie. Other than that I would yell, scream and cuss at everyone else. Mom has had to endure these lows for months. I don’t know how she has done it, but I am pretty sure it’s only by the grace of God she did. 

I still have my lows, but not like those. Now Mom knows how to get me out of them pretty fast. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but she’s pretty skilled. I’m not mean with my lows now, not like in the beginning when I was on high dose medications and basically drugged out of my mind. 

I got to thinking about my lows while Mom read the text to the other caregiver, explaining what she does to get me out of my funk. Listening to her, I realized its all the things that make me happy. So, this is the happy part of the blog and a list of all the things that make me happy and get me back in the right state of mind. 

• First thing is lists. I love lists because they’re organized and easily followed. 
• My best friend and dog Bertie. She loves to cuddle and she can sense when I’m sad. 
• Rides in my Jeep with Bertie. Preferably with the windows down and the radio on (Noah Kahan playing) 
• Sonic Sweet Tea Extra Ice 
• Bumpers Strawberry Milkshake 
• Little Burgers from Dairy Queen (Tullahoma, TN) 
• Riding on the boat 
• Bonfires with my friends 
• Winning a scratch off ticket 
• Getting a compliment on my tattoos 
• Listening to old music 
• Back roads 
• Home Cooked Meals 
• Finding a antique quilt in good condition 
• Watching a football game with friends 
• Playing trivia with friends 
• Getting a trivia question right 
• A nice conversation with a stranger 
• A good sale 
• Being with my Mom 
• When Hendrix draws a pictures for my fridge 
• Having awesome neighbors
• Coffee/Tea 
• A good nap
• Family time if they’re not acting to crazy (just kidding)

These are just some of the things that make me happy. Yes, some of them are silly but who cares. Life is silly and not to be taken so serious because you know what? In the end we are all going to die. So, have a life of fun. Just I like said in my last blog, “Let go and Let God!” 

Now I’m going to enjoy some sweet tea and maybe take a good nap!