I met with my oncologist the other day after my third surgery due to a broken arm. It wasn’t a cool surgery from where I was working out, trying a new hobby like speed skating, or actually falling from rappelling down a rock wall. 

Nope, I was getting up from a chair and using my arm as leverage and my right arm literally snapped in half!

It sounded and looked like a twig. Unfortunately, it was because— once again— my cancer has spread to the bone. So, I got surgery (cement, 11 screws and 1 plate). My body is going to eventually be bionic metal if I keep on having surgery. But, enough about this; it’s not what I’m writing about. 

During my latest appointment, my oncologist and I had a discussion about me focusing on my health too much and not living my life. In my head I was like, “I’m not “technically” supposed to drive, I have a lame arm, a half-working heart, my mom usually finishes my sentences for me, and I can’t work.” So, searching the internet, social media, reading, and blogging is the only thing I really have to do. With the lame arm it’s hard to blog at the moment. Thank goodness for voice text! After my little rant, the doc was like, “Well why don’t you go on a trip?” 

That sent me into another rant. Did you not hear that I’m not working? YOU signed off on my disability. You told me not to work because my cancer is unpredictable. I have no money, honey! The appointment ended and me and mom headed back home. We got to talking about upcoming appointments and next scans, radiation, possible treatments, etc. We actually realized that we had 2.5 weeks without any upcoming appointments, which hasn’t happened in forever. I actually asked mom, “Do you think we could take a trip?”

“We can do whatever you want,” she answered. 

For a back story, my parents and I haven’t taken a trip together since before I got diagnosed. So it was long overdue! It’s hard for me to go with my friends on trips now just because I need help with so many medical needs, and this was exactly what I needed. I was excited to finally get away from our everyday routine! We booked our get-away with a couple of family friends to one of my favorite places called Dauphin Island, AL. It’s a small island outside of Mobile, AL—  there’s not much there but a couple places to grab a bite. The houses are basically in the ocean and you have sunsets and sunrises and it’s just picture perfect. 

We cooked every night and watched movies, played cards, shared old stories and new ones. Watched the sunsets over the water. We laughed and cried. We put our toes in the sand and soaked up the sun while not having a care in the world! It was the perfect five days to spend with friends and family. Sitting out on the deck and on the beach really got me thinking about the first time I went to the beach. I was young and didn’t really remember it, but I wish I remembered what I thought when I first saw it. Was it a look of amazement or shock? What did I think of sand and the waves? I need to ask mom about it. Because I feel like everytime i see the ocean I have a new thought or feeling about it. This time it was how could there be so much water and so much sand, but yet God knows how much there is and how many tiny particles of sand there are? Just picking up sand in my hands, well there’s probably hundreds of thousands of particles. It amazes me. It’s so soft to the touch but so hard to the fall.. which leads to a scripture my mom found when we were sitting and talking on the porch late one night.

Jeremiah 5:22- God has set sand as a boundary for the sea, and the waves cannot cross over it. It’s crazy because it’s true. The sand is the boundary to the ocean, and waves break on the sand. It doesn’t cross it and if it does it’s usually pulled right back into the ocean. It blew my mind and reassured me that He is the creator of all things. Watching the ocean roll in and out can be the most peaceful, but when the winds pick up and the oceans become rough it can become scary. Just like in life, there can be a peaceful wave but there can also be a storm. Life can be a wave that crashes down like brick hitting the sand! Our family is in a tsunami and our life is in waves like those bricks hitting sand… but luckily we have a great support system of family and friends that take care of us. The storm will pass but right now we are in the middle of it. 

I’m pretty sure it’s a category 5.