When days are long or the rides to the doctors office are quiet and me and mom just sit in silence, I get to thinking about random thoughts, questions, places, or activities. 

Sometimes I’ll bring certain places up to Mom and we will talk about them and express our ideas of what our opinions are, or what we think a random place will be like. If we visited there, if we would like the food, or if we think the people would be nice. Do we think we could find something fun to do or would just want to sit and enjoy the views and watch the locals live their lives and make stories of what they’ve accomplished through their lives?

Sometimes we talk about music we think we would have at our funerals or what we would want to be buried in. Mine is a flannel button down with a shirt and khaki shorts. That’s my favorite thing to wear. But there’s one question I’ve still got- Is it weird to wear shoes when you’re buried or not? I just always want to be comfortable so in my head having no shoes is way more comfortable then having shoes on. I don’t know, but see these are the weird conversations we have sitting at home or riding to the doctors. It’s not morbid like some of y’all think, but we’re just open about these things. Our whole family is. I think that’s why we are so close and can have a knock down drag out fight one minute and be saying we love each other the next. That’s who we are. We share everything with each other– the good, bad, and ugly. I think that’s what makes a family so truly family. 

This got me thinking about sharing a kind of a bucket list. I’m going to share a list of things that I love to do and have done. If you ever get a chance to do them, go for it! These things have brought me so much joy in my life, even if it was a thing I did one time or a thing I did every weekend. It still filled my life with enjoyment. So, I’m just going to name them off and maybe write a little snippet about them:

• Friday night dinners with my best friends. I learned not to care what other people thought of me. 
• Saturday morning Jeep rides with Bertie listening to music. I appreciated nature and the backroads of Cannon County. 
• Family vacations with Joneses. I hold the memories near and dear to my heart. I will never forget singing karaoke and having fires on the beach. 
• Weekends at the lake with Mom, Dad, and friends. I have seen some of the most beautiful sunsets that God’s ever created. 
• Going to Church at Faith Baptist Church and Sycamore Baptist Church/ 
• Going out West to Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, and Montana. The views were breathtaking and probably my favorite trip I’ve ever taken. 
• Going to Alaska. Spending time with my parents and Meme, experiencing a place like we’ve never been before. 
• Having movie nights with your cousins as kids and adults. 
• Getting in the car and just driving and having no destination and just stopping at random places and getting a random hotel along the way. We ended up reading books at Barnes and Noble in Chattanooga and stayed at a Holiday Inn. 
• Going on spring break with your college friends to Mexico and having the time of our lives. 
• Going to Belize with my nursing class to a remote village and helping the village make health records for the villagers. 
• Sunday dinners with my family. 
• Family Christmas playing games, sharing stories, and enjoying each other’s time. Christmas is my favorite. 
• Riding four wheelers with my family in Robinson Hollow. 
• VBS at Sycamore Baptist Church. It was always so cool. 
• Having a garden when I was a kid and the whole family working on it. 
• Having a summer “JOB” as photographer assistant with Candice. Basically just hanging out and talking to customers. 
• Going to Spankies, the college bar at TTU and hanging out with my college friends. It was just like a college bar you saw on TV. It was my favorite. 
• In high school– playing tennis all hours of the night with my best friends at the city park. 
• Going to Wednesday night church at Short Mountain Bible Camp. 

I probably have so many more that I will think of once I get done with this blog, but these are just a few that I can remember that I enjoyed in my life. These events brought joy to my life and memories. They are the things that bring laughter and tears to mine and my moms conversations. We enjoy talking about these memories because these moments are the ones that we cherish the most because it’s not the things we do in them, but who we do them with. 

I watch many videos on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, etc. about cancer patients making bucket lists like I mentioned above. Well, I’m going to do just that. This is my list of things I haven’t done but that I would like to do. I don’t know even If I had all the money and time in the world if I would do them, but I think I would try. I get angry a lot seeing people explore the world, but really…I’m jealous. It’s so awesome that they have the opportunity, willingness, and bravery to go and explore the world and the unknown. I feel like I’ve always been more reserved when it comes world travel and the willingness to try something new. That’s one thing that cancer has taught me. You only have one life to live so you better live it to the fullest. So, take every chance you have to explore the unknown and travel to great wonders and places that will blow your minds and say, “Only God could create this magnificent place.” With that being said, here’s my bucket list: 

• Go Sky Diving.
• Travel to all the 7 wonders of the world even though I don’t know all of them. To say you’ve been to all the 7 wonders of the world is pretty cool. 
• Travel to all 50 states. I wanna get one of those sticker maps and fill them in. 
• Have coffee with Noah Kahan. He’s one of my favorite artists. His music has helped so much through this diagnosis. I bought tickets for his show in Nashville and had to sell them because of radiation and going to MD Anderson. BUMMER. 
• Wear a size XL again. Steroids have done a number on my body. 125 lbs gained since August 2023. So, you can imagine I’m not in a XL anymore. 
• Learn how to water ski. I’ve grown up on the water my whole life. We’ve had a boat since I was in grade school. I’ve tried to ski for years but I can never get up. 
• Go to the Swiss Alps and stay in one of those cool houses that looks over the mountains. 
• Go to Australia with my cousin Katie and go to the Australian Zoo. RIP Steve. 
• Change hospitals to work better for patient safety. (Nurse patient ratio, Doctor patient Ratio, Insurance can kiss some butt). 
• Go to all of my favorite sports teams games with my friends, including tailgating  with “crappy” grilled cheeses! 
• Watching the sunset at the beach with a bonfire roasting hotdogs on an October night. 
• Go on a solo trip anywhere. 
• Go to Alaska one more time and fly to a secluded place with a cabin next to a river and sit there for a week and fish, hike, take pictures, see wildlife, cook over fire, and spend time with family.
• See the Grand Canyon and ride a donkey to the bottom. 
• Explore New England. Go up the coast line exploring the small coastal towns, eating our way through trying lobster and all the seafood. Staying in cabins on the lake and waking up having coffee while the dew covers the ground. 
• Experience a Rodeo in Wyoming. Maybe even try 8 seconds on a bull. 
• Build a house. I would like to build a house one day. I’ve always liked to design houses and always had a niche for house plans and home decor. 
• Live or own something on the lake even if it’s a camping spot. 
• Go to a silent disco. I’ve never been but they look fun. 
• Enjoy a 5 star restaurant. I would want to see the menu before I go to make sure I like the food because I don’t wanna waste money, haha. 
• NOT HAVE CANCER.

Just like the list above, I will finish this blog and think of something else that I should’ve put down but, oh well. You get the idea. These are the things that come to mind that I might some day try to accomplish if the big C would go away and I could be healthy for once. But for now I can dream and look at people’s pictures who are brave and all inspiring, who have no fear of trying these things listed above. Those people, even when I get angry with them and I’am jealous of them, are my heroes because they have courage to go and try things that sometimes scare the living daylights out of me. If I’m brave enough to fight cancer then I think I’m brave enough to check off a few things on a list. If I don’t get to check any or all of these things off my list, just keep me in mind if you have a chance to do these things. Take a picture just for me.