I began immunotherapy alongside radiation because tumors kept growing like wildflowers, and I kept having brain bleeds. The immunotherapy hadn’t had enough time to work so I was back to a waiting game. I was up to 27 brain tumors and 5 brain bleeds at that point. The holidays came back around again and this year wasn’t any better than the last. The doctors had started hinting that I should really try to enjoy the holidays because it could be my last one. But I just didn’t wanna do them. The steroids had made me gain 75 pounds, I was always angry, and I had pushed everyone away. I was miserable! I got to the point that I kept asking God to just go ahead and take me. What was the point? I was so tired. I went from being healthy and strong to having flutters, discovering heart cancer, to fighting terminal brain cancer. 

Then one day I felt another flutter. Only this one was just a little different. I don’t know why, but I followed something that had me opening up the Bible app on my phone. I started reading. I started a Bible study plan about cancer and it made some sense to me. I was asking God why me? Why do I have to have terminal cancer? Some people are horrible and do bad stuff and they get to enjoy their lives. I have a career that I dedicated my life to taking care of the sick. What did I deserve to get this death sentence? Let me just tell you He humbled me real quick! I felt guilt like I have never felt before. I didn’t know what to do… so I did the only thing I was always taught to do and I prayed. I prayed to God to show me what I needed to see to change my ways. I started to get into Word every day. I did Bible plan after Bible plan and watched videos on social media. Then it hit me! God did not give me cancer! The cancer is from the devil himself. But God wanted to teach me through my cancer diagnosis to not lean on flesh but lean on Him! 

I didn’t lean on Him through my chemo, open heart surgery, and stroke. I leaned on science and the flesh. I started to ask Him what He could teach me through my diagnosis and how I can help others with my testimony. And I truly have a testimony because I have had open heart surgery, 18 rounds of chemo, a massive stroke, 27 brain tumors, and 5 brain bleeds with almost no outward deficits that anyone would notice besides my family and myself. Every time I go to the doctor they say I’m a walking miracle. We don’t know how you’re alive but keep fighting. It’s only by the grace of God that I’m here and able to type this out. I’ve recently re-dedicated my life back to the Lord and I study the Bible daily. I don’t know where this journey will take me spiritually but I’m writing this blog to tell my testimony to give people hope. Learn like I did how to follow the flutters Jesus puts in your heart. No matter how hard the road is, you have to trust and lean on Jesus. If you don’t you’ll be just like Peter when he saw the waves and storm and started to sink. We have to have BIG Faith and TRUST God with all our being! I feel him working in my life!

Isaiah 40:31 is my scripture that gives me strength! If anyone knows me knows I love it so much I got it tattooed on my wrist! It reads, “But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” We gotta trust and know that God can do all things!